We argue because we're emotionally invested in being perceived by others (or often we're actually trying to convince ourselves) as being on the right side of the argument.
But seriously, what's the worst outcome of losing an argument? Ooh, that stings, it's all about our ego isn't it?
If you've read any of my recent posts, you'll quickly figure out that I'm on a bit of a holy war against the ego. I believe that elimination of the ego is the last, great hurdle to the next stage of human development, evolutionary if you wish.
I'm starting to believe that if we, as a species, do not take measures to rid ourselves of the outmoded, psychological appendage we refer to as our ego, we may very well find that agents of change may bring this much needed development to reality. In ways we currently perceive as afflictions.
Do you ever wonder what's going on with the seemingly exponential rate of growth of conditions such as autism or dementia. Is fluoridation of our water to blame? Maybe it's immunizations? Or maybe, it's a seemingly harsh method of evolution. I think if we don't fix our own house someone/thing is going to "fix" it for us.
On a personal level, over the past few years, I have suffered severe consequences because of ego based, lifestyle decisions that seemed quite harsh at the time. But I'm starting to see that these were necessary to break through the shell that encases me (ego) to reveal a much improved, more aware Self inside.
When you look at the mystic segments of nearly any major religion or form of Spiritual practice, you'll soon find a common thread. Nearly all mystic practices describe the ideal disciple as being transparent, a clear channel to the greater Spirit that we all are a part of.
As an example, Christian means "like Christ", but honestly, very few of the people who describe themselves as Christian behave in a way we could describe as Christ-like. Christians (as is also true of nearly every major religion) are taught that their goal is to behave as Jesus would. Remember the WWJD? wristbands that were so popular a few years ago? What Would Jesus Do?
But maybe the bigger picture of that, one that works for all of us, not just those who identify themselves as Christian, is that instead of "modelling behavior" at best, or pretending at worst, we should be eliminating the hindrance (the ego) that prevents that universal, essential nature from flowing through us, from the collective source that we all tap into.
Confront it, force it from our way of being, change ourselves instead of waiting to see what random force inflicts that change upon us.
So the next time you find yourself toe to toe, take a deep breath and think of this; "What is the worst thing that can happen of I lose this argument?", if the only thing you come up with is that you hate the feeling of losing, than drop it, stop, walk away, do not participate. It takes two to tango, stop dancing and move on.