From the earliest age, I always knew that the common answers people give in response to the "who are you?" question were fundamentally wrong.
I've never fully grasped that notion of identifying with something so completely that I refer to it to explain who I am. When I learned about God's answer to Moses' question "who are you?", God said "I am what I am". Popeye said that too, so you know there's something deeper to it.
As a slight tangent to that, I think vanity license plates are ridiculous on vehicles. It's amazing to me how deeply they identify with their possessions. The same goes with nicknames on social or dating websites. I guess the drive to NOT be identified by what I do, who I'm married to or divorced from, or what I drive, or where I live, or what State or Country I was born in ... was more important to me than "belonging" to any descriptive group or subset of society.
So I have always been a bit of a loner, but surprisingly also always had a good core group of mostly non-judgmental friends to support me. I've always enjoyed the natural ability of flying under the radar, like I'm invisible. I care deeply about the people I choose to associate with, so I'm often appear to be a bit standoffish.
I put everything I have into all my relationships, so the reason I stand back at first is because I don't want to get sucked into a vortex of drama, woe is me-victim mentality, or anything like that.
Life is too short to waste any of it with stereotypical, ego based, life drama. It's just not worth it. People who thrive on drama, attract that to their lives because they LIKE it. While it's true, that they'd be better off without it, they don't want anyone to actually try to help them learn to eliminate it. Because they don't know any better, haven't experienced anything other than that, wouldn't know what to do without it.
They jump from one crisis to the next, because if there was no crisis, they wouldn't know what to do next. So instead of learning to plan ahead to actually attempt to avoid crisis, they actually do things to create crisis. I allowed myself to be dragged down a drama queen's path once and I will not make that mistake again. I definitely learned a lot from the experience, enough to know that I plan not to repeat that lesson.
So now, I'm back to flying under the radar again ... the Invisible Man.
More about all of this later, I'm sure.
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